Archive for May, 2008
You may be wondering what I’m talking about. But, there is such a thing as a “havingness quotient” and it’s worth examining and developing. I know, because I recently had my own shaken in ways I never could have imagined.
I have been working on a goal for over five years. When I started, it seemed far out of reach if not impossible. I encountered one hurdle after another and each success was followed by a disappointment. It was almost as if I’d take two steps forward and one step back.
However, I wanted this badly enough to persevere against the odds. My stubbornness kicked in and I doggedly put my nose to the grindstone despite the scrapes and scratches the grinding left on my poor proboscis.
Then a seeming miracle happened—things began to fall into place! I began to get recognized for my work and signs of support started to spring up where I’d least expected. I was ecstatic!
To my surprise, after the initial thrill and amazement began to wear off, I became anxious and began to fall into a funk. What if I couldn’t perform up to expectation? What if I were playing the imposter? What if I would fail? All these questions and doubts started to swirl through my brain and I began to feel immobilized.
But then, a dear friend who is also a therapist, mentioned that I might be struggling with issues related to my ability to “have.” She suggested I try a little exercise to measure my havingness quotient. It’s quite simple and, if you ever have doubts that you are deserving of an outcome, I suggest you give it a try.
Sit quietly, close your eyes and go inside. Imagine that you have a measuring stick running up your body and this gauges your feelings of worthiness for a particular result. It is marked from one to ten and acts like a barometer so that your score can raise and lower.
When I first attempted this, my ranking was a three—far from reaching my desired outcome. If you believe in the Law of Attraction, such a low score was sabotaging my chances for ultimate success. Aware of this, I’m now diligently practicing raising my havingness quotient. I check in frequently to see how high I can take my readings and I’m happy to say that I’m now a seven and climbing.
I pass this along so that each of you can raise your numbers and your potential. If you have spent valuable energy and time devoted to accomplishing a much desired goal, then it’s worth a bit of extra effort. Why not give this little exercise a try and make your own way to the top?Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 7 so far )
My dear friend, Dahlynn McKowen, an amazing lady who’s an award winning author and highly respected editor, turned me on to a most wonderful site. I just had to share it.
It’s called Design-her Gals and it’s an innovative stationery company that allows you to create your own likeness and affix it to invitations, note cards, and the like. The fun part is that you can make yourself into quite the dish and then adorn your body with designer outfits and accessories that make for a fashionable new you. No bad hair days here!
But, even more than that, there is an important mission behind the fun. Design-her Gals was founded by Jeanne Fitzmaurice, who lost both her cousin and her best friend to Stage IV Breast Cancer. In their honor, she also created the Gal to Gal Foundation and five percent of every sale goes to the non-profit. If you choose, you can donate directly and support this important organization.
Over 300,000 patients worldwide will lose their lives to Stage IV Breast Cancer this year. Funds are often scarce for those in this critical stage, when health insurance benefits may be reduced or cancelled, family bank accounts become depleted, and hospice care is hard to find. This is where the Gal to Gal foundation steps in. Their main beneficiary is an organization called “Making Memories.”
Making Memories is dedicated to making a wish come true for women and men who are losing their battle against breast cancer. The wishes and memory-making events they bestow allow the individual the opportunity to put aside the realities of their illness, enjoy themselves, and leave one final, beautiful memory for their family.
So, take some time to visit this remarkable site and take full advantage of the combination of creativity and a cause. You’ll end up having a lot of fun and helping to make a lasting memory all at the same time.Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 7 so far )
In this world, it is difficult sometimes for us to figure out what we wish to do or how to get to where we want to go in our lives. Well, Amy Sherman, author of “Distress Free Aging” has written a book to help baby boomers creative a purposeful life.
I had an opportunity to ask Amy a few questions about her book:
What do you think is one of the biggest challenges for boomers as we age? There are many challenges, but one of the biggest is having to deal with our aging parents, while we’re still raising our kids and trying to fit it all in while we’re working full time. Some other challenges include realizing that we, ourselves, are aging and unable to fulfill our dreams. This challenge leaves us disillusioned and disenchanted with our prospects and sometimes at a loss with what to do. Of course, a shift in perspective, some inspiration, good solid goals and strong motivation can change all that and transform us into who we want to be, if we are willing.
Is our generation facing unique stresses that those who came before us did not? I think we recognize that we are stressed more than previous generations. It’s the new “buzz” word of our times. Technology has also added to our stress, with communication between generations easier and with obligations greater.
How do women cope differently than men? Women are naturally more emotional, more sensitive, and can recognize their feelings easier than men. Women also participate in more self-help workshops, which gives them greater insight and skills to cope with their challenges. Women, in general may be more open to alternative ways of thinking and behaving than men, just because they are natural nurturers and mediators, always trying to smooth things out and foster cooperation.
Please provide one or two simple strategies we can use to de-stress our lives.
Designate jobs to others so you don’t have to feel overwhelmed. We sometimes feel we have to do everything, but there’s lots of help out there available when you ask.
Also, make sure you have time for yourself by meditating, doing yoga, exercising, reading, etc. There should be no guilt expressed for having a few minutes to yourself, just because you deserve it.
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Okay, ladies—let’s get real. When most of us gals over fifty say we’re “hanging loose,” the phrase has taken on an entirely new meaning. Yes, I must confess that a lot of me has morphed into flesh that settles into loose folds whenever I sit, bend, or button a waistband. I do try to keep up with my aerobics and even lift weights a couple of times a week. Yet, despite my efforts, gravity seems to be tugging extra hard these days.
Thankfully, the entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well in American authors and they are writing a number of books to cash in on aging boomers and our worries over the visible signs of growing older. Not long ago, I came across an article in USA Today that discussed the latest crop of anti-aging books filled with dos and don’ts for the mature woman. Each of them looks interesting to me as I’m hoping to hang on to whatever looks I have left. But, I do have my limits!
The article suggests that a woman in her fifties or sixties is pleased to be alive (rather than dead by this age of decrepitude) but that she can’t pass a mirror without averting her eyes. Now, maybe my vision is going faster than I’d thought but I can still look myself in the mirror without gagging or fleeing the scene totally repulsed by the appallingly wizened reflection.
Shockingly, I like myself better now than when I was younger and so do most of my friends. Why not write a book about that? Yes, it may be important to look our best at any age. And, yes, looks do affect our self-esteem but so does a lifetime of growth and development. I may not wear my wrinkles proudly but I don’t despise them either. A lifetime of friends and laughter, memories and family, and challenges and triumphs more than makes up for a few lines. And, no one need avert her eyes at that!Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 7 so far )
I came across a simple demonstration that really hit home. Some of you may have seen this before but it’s one of those important messages that bears repeating.
The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee…
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.” The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions. If everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and hobbies. The sand is everything else—the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there’s no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.”
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you’ll never have room for the things that are important to you. So… pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness:
· Enjoy your children and grandchildren
· Make special time to celebrate with your partner
· Play every day.
· Be grateful for your blessings.
“Take care of the golf balls first — the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.” It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”
A very happy Mothers Day to each of you. This is a grand golf ball indeed!Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 9 so far )
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